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I AM co-hosting that party this weekend. "As co-host, what should I do?" I asked. She said, "Look hot and bring your girlfriends." One small problem: I have three "girlfriends"; two are in New York and the other's a lesbian who likes fleece and kayaking. I have a feeling I will make a lousy host.

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FLATMATE Sam's girlfriend finally found an apartment after months of searching and practically living in our house. When she first went to see it, she thought it looked familiar. Then she looked around and realized that it was the apartment that M. and I used to live in two years ago. And her room is our old room.

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I SPENT last weekend in a car with the screaming three-year old kid that my uncle adopted. I would not recommend such a getaway to anyone.

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I'M OFF to the Midwest on Tuesday to visit M.'s mom. We will drink nothing but good beer and eat nothing but steak sandwiches and second-hand smoke for about a week. I am kind of looking forward to it.